I'm still not feeling great, so this will be a short update.
I've been researching trauma over the past few months and learned a great deal. However, a singular truth has been helping me let go of what I'd believed "recovery" would look like.
There is no old version of you to go back to. It doesn't exist. There only exists a version of yourself to accept, forgive and grow from. Healing from trauma does not mean wiping the slate clean. The trauma will change you, it will leave its mark on you, but it does not need to define you.
Look after yourself.