2020 thus far

2020 thus far
Photo by Kelly Sikkema / Unsplash

What a year it’s been! The last time I shared anything on here I was newly on anti-anxiety meds and feeling like a toddler in a toy shop — the world had a sheen I’d been blind to for a few years and the air smelled of roses — unfortunately, that did not last.

During the initial weeks of treatment anxiety can rise past the initial levels you were experiencing, and unfortunately, this is a side-effect I had, along with increased bouts of depression. But. But. It's all worth it! The first 2 months were full of both uphill climbs and clarity as my body adjusted to its new chemistry, and as I write this I’ve reached a better plane.

I left behind many fears and the need for control on those hills of despair. I am still forming a new sense of self, one not defined by a lack of fear of tomorrow, a sense rooted in gratitude and acceptance. Fear and resistance cast a great shadow on your important parts, the parts of you that hold your spark. Letting go of them allows you to grow into yourself.

The beautiful thing about life is when you’re ready you can begin again. And again.